Nineteen

by R.J. O'Hara

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04:41
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04:56
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01:49

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released October 17, 2014

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R.J. O'Hara Dunedin, New Zealand

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Track Name: Don't Bring a Gun
A body lying in the sand
Flowers in her blood-stained hand
Close her eyes and wrap her in a bag
She’s too small to hold a gun or a flag

A man who loses everything
Answers to no holy king
But those who stood and watched the falling bombs
Will answer for his grief in years to come

Don’t bring a gun to a war for the hearts and minds of children
Don’t forget the difference between freedom and fear
This cannot end until people understand
The answers to your question are buried in the sand

A body lying in the street
Hot debris around her feet
A victim of a victim of a world
That spurned a man and took his little girl

Don’t bring a gun to a war for the hearts and minds of children
Don’t forget the difference between freedom and fear
This all will end when people understand
The answers to your question are buried in the sand
Track Name: Tell Me I'm Not Alone
My friend doesn’t talk as loud as other people do
But inside all he wants to do is shout
Sometimes he feels like the walls are closing around him
And no one cares enough to pull him out

He’s afraid that no one will understand
If he tries to explain what’s in his head
So he doesn’t talk to anybody
He just buries it down deep and spends the day in bed

He doesn’t believe me when I say
That other people are here to help him along

So just tell him he’s not alone
He’s not the only one who feels this way
It’s a long and lonely road
But together it’s a little less lonely

If we all just let him know
He’s not the only one who’s crying today
Maybe he would feel okay
Maybe we all would feel okay

I am not what you would call a confident person
I feel like everything I do is wrong
I’m scared of what other people think of me
So I hide behind a made-up friend in a song

You know that I know
But I just need to hear it out loud

So just tell me I’m not alone
I’m not the only one who feels this way
It’s a long and lonely road
But together it’s a little less lonely

(I’m lost, I’m scared, I’m so alone
Please take please take please take me home
I just can’t do this on my own
I can’t hold on forever)

If you all just let me know
I’m not the only one who’s crying today
Maybe I would feel okay
I just wanna get through today

(Don’t pretend it’s okay
We all feel this way
Just breathe in deep and say
Tomorrow is another day)
Track Name: Just Called to Say I Love You
I bought a record today
It’s by this indie band called Neutral Milk Hotel
I think that you would like it a lot
They’re quite experimental, but the tunes are catchy as well

Being away from you is hard, but I don’t mind
‘Cause I know we’ve got plenty of time
But you’ve been on my mind tonight
And I just called to say I love you

We had a fight today
I ignored fourteen of your calls while I was out with my friends
I said I’d make it up to you
I know you’re pissed off right now but we’re always okay in the end

And all of this shit won’t matter when I hold you in my arms
And you know that you’re where you’re supposed to be
But I really miss your stupid face and I just called to say I love you

I got a phone call today
I didn’t recognise the voice on the other line
She said to sit down for a while
Then confirmed the thought that had crept into my mind

As hard as it is to understand I know that you are gone
I can’t keep fooling myself for long
But I can still hear your voice on the answerphone
So I’ll just call and say I love you
As if you didn’t already know
Track Name: Come On, Fay
When Teddy met Fay she took his breath away
He tried to say hello and she gave him a smile
He though ‘if angels exist, they must look something like this’
When she turned to leave, he asked her to stay a while

Now Teddy could swear he fell in love then and there
As he looked at the way the moon lit up her face
He thought ‘Teddy, be a man’, took her by the hand
And said ‘Fay, do ya think you wanna go someplace?’

Come on, Fay, don’t ya worry
I could never let a damn thing happen to you
You don’t need to be in such a hurry
Just take my hand and I’ll show you what we can do

Now Fay and Teddy, they started going steady
Happier than they had ever been
She made him feel that true love was real
And he showed her things that she’d never seen

When the nights were hot he would take her out to the lake
One night he took off his clothes and jumped in
When he beckoned to Fay, she turned her head away
And said ‘come on Teddy, you know I can’t swim’

And Teddy said
Come on, Fay, don’t ya trust me?
What did I tell you when we first met?
I’ve been wonderin’ if this is love and I think it must be
You can do anything, baby, now that’s a bet

In the back of Teddy’s car, looking up at the stars
Underneath a blanket, cuddled up tight
Fay looked at her man, held him by the hand
And said ‘oh baby, what a beautiful night’

Then Teddy leaned in, gently stroked her chin
Kissed her hard and ran a hand up her thigh
She said ‘wait a minute, Teddy. I’m not sure I’m ready’
That’s when he got a strange look in his eye and said

Come on, Fay, don’t ya love me?
Don’t ya wanna show me how much you care?
Why are you acting like you’re scared of me?
You can’t keep doing this to me, you know it ain’t fair

Teddy was strong, she couldn’t stop him for long
He held her down hard to stop her cryin’ aloud
When he rolled off of Fay, he asked if she was okay
But she didn’t make a sound

Come on, Fay, can you hear me?
I didn’t mean to hurt you, I guess I got carried away
Stop it, babe, you’re really starting to scare me
This ain’t funny, just tell me that you’re okay

Come on, Fay
Just open your eyes
Track Name: Trees, Rocks, and I
My grandfather was born right here in Gibson
Last week he died in that same hospital bed
Now he’s buried in the cemetery one hundred yards away
In sixty-eight years that’s as far as he could get

The people here they know my name
‘Those Dixon boys, they’re all the same’
My family like to fight and they like to drink
I’m just another dirty, no-good punk
Ain’t never gonna amount to much
Well it drives me crazy when I start to think

This is the place where I was born
And this is the place where I will die
I’ll stay right here till kingdom come
The trees, the rocks, and I

I’ll get married to some bitch and have some children
And if they’ve got any sense they’ll run away
‘Cause that asshole Jim O’Toole who used to beat me up in school
Well he’ll probably be their gym teacher one day

This is the place where I was born
And this is the place where I will die
I’ll stay right here till kingdom come
The trees, the rocks, and I

The only bright lights I will see
Will be on a police car
There’s a whole world outside of Tennessee
But I won’t ever get that far
‘Cause they’ve already picked a grave for me
Right beside my ma and pa
The only way I’m gonna leave
Is when my spirit departs

Sometimes I’ll watch the news up on the T.V.
The outside world just seems so wrong
Those queers and ragheads make me sick
I guess I’m just a slack-jawed hick
And Gibson’s the only place that I belong

This is the place where I was born
And this is the place where I will die
I’ll stay right here till kingdom come
The trees, the rocks, and I
Track Name: Set Me Free
You can come over anytime you want
I will be waiting, whether you do or not
I know this is no way to live my life
But you’re the only thing that I can dream of

I told you to trust me
I really thought you could
People had hurt you so many times before
I swore I never would

When you told me just to stay the hell away
What am I supposed to think when you talk to me today?

I don’t know exactly what I mean to you
But to me you are the sun, moon, and stars

I wanna get up now, but you’re standing in my way
You hold my hand, you stare into my eyes
But goodnight is all you can say

When you say that you love me
I don’t know what that means
I’ve analysed every fucking thing that you’ve said to me
And I’m tearing at the seams

Don’t stand there if you don’t intend to stay
Don’t say that you miss me when it’s you that walked away
You mean so much

But I can’t take this anymore, if you love me set me free. Please
I gave you all I had to give, but it just was not enough. So please
But I can’t take this anymore, if you love me set me free. Please
But I can’t take this anymore, if you love me set me free. Please

You can come over anytime you want
I will be waiting, whether you care or not